Life throws us many curveballs, and suddenly becoming the ” parent ” to your parents is a major one, for both parties involved. When you believe a family member or other loved one is in need of senior care, what exactly is the best way to start a dialogue? Several factors often compound this sudden reversal of roles: the feeling of meddling in our parent’s lives the reluctance to accept that our parents are in fact aging; anxiety or guilt about who will care for them; and the fear that your heartfelt intentions might be mistaken as an insult.
The first step in getting necessary adult day care is to get past the reluctance to talk about it. Gilbert Guide has assembled some suggestions to help make this process as painless as possible:
Listen, listen, listen. Always remember to show your geniune interest, concern and sensitivity. Be supportive, not judgmental. Take note to ask your loved one open-ended questions in order to find out his/her personal circumstances and opinions. Share thoughts on your own aging and what you plan to do. Always reassure your parents that they are not alone in their concerns. Be prepared to accept your parents; opinions or decisions, even if you do not agree, like getting home care for them.
Determine how important it is to your parent to remain as independent as possible. Who Can Help with Long-term Care Decisions? Solicit the help of non-family members in evaluating the type of long-term care your loved one may need. People of authority who are not related to you can offer a neutral opinion. Consider the following figures: Your doctor or your loved one’s personal doctor. Friends and neighbors whose opinions you trust, and who may have already faced a similar situation. A clergy member who might be able to refer you to care groups or agencies. County care service agencies. Area agencies on adult day care or other senior information and referral services.
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